Archive for the ‘choice’ Category

Cosmetics and White Privilege

April 5, 2011

I caught a show last week, I think it might have been Steve Wilkos (yeah, I know, lol) – it caught my eye because it was about a teen and her brother who picked up the habit of skin bleaching (they also lived in an area that wasn’t very diverse and most of the people are white). Steve mentioned something about the dangerous chemicals in the bleaching creams and how they are risking their health for vanity.

And it got me thinking – how is it any different from any other kind of cosmetic? Well, it’s not. MOST forms of make-up, lotions and perfumes used today are toxic. They have carcinogens, toxins, hormone inhibitors and all kinds of scary crap that no one can pronounce in them…

Yet for some reason it’s WORSE when someone is risking their life to look white (it’s totally an issue of privilege when all of the other vanity based practices are ignored). Why is it looked at in such a different light (no pun) then tanning? I’ve seen SOME shows about tanning but people seem to be less critical of it – unless it’s obsessive tanning (like Dr. Phil had a show about a woman and her daughter who tanned twice daily – but he completely ignores the millions who tan four times a week). Women who tan are a lot more likely to end up with skin cancer (probably even more so then bleaching creams)…. Ya know? And pretty much all the products used for tanning (bronzers and such) are also toxic – and they are being BAKED into the skin…

Like why isn’t Steve Wilkos doing shows on the dangers of cosmetic surgery or even regular ole – non-permanent cosmetics – which are applied almost always DAILY. It just seems really out of place to narrow in on this ONE beauty issue. Like that “natural” mineral make-up that is always being promoted – it has nano-sized particulates of silica – silica poisoning is IRREVERSIBLE. You can’t clense that shit out. When I had to crush rocks in lab – we had to run special vaccuums, wear masks and took all these insane precautions to avoid breathing in these same exact particulates.

Not that I support skin bleaching in any fashion (I’m not trying to justify it because other women do similar things, they ALL irritate me and make me a lil sad) but it’s really weird to me how this topic gets zeroed in on very often and how white people everywhere are so shocked – when they do just as many petty and stupid things for vanity. People are SHOCKED that a woman would want to distort her skin color – but pretty much everything in our culture promotes it (one way or the other). Our entire view of what the “feminine” looks like is a distortion, a fake representation – not a REAL one.  

What really pisses me off about it, is that women are expected to distort their appearences anyway. What makes trying to look whiter any different than trying to look more “feminine”.  When women go to lengths to look more “feminine” (hair removal, breast enhancements, lip enhancements – eyelash growing chemicals, bleaching of the hair, hair dyes etc) they are rejecting their own appearence, their BORN appearence in the same way that this girl is rejecting her black skin.

She’s trying to fit the mold, she’s no more deluded than most women.

And it’s really fucking hilarious to me that when white men do shows on things like this (Wilkos and Dr. Phil), they IGNORE the beauty practices their wives uphold, that are also dangerous for the health. It’s so weird to me. Like – why not do a show on how women should accept how they look… as they are.

It’s coming from such a position of privilege for men to talk about these issues and completely ignore the ones that their wives uphold. In many ways – they ARE the problem. Instead of facing it HEAD ON and their wives own vanity practices – they pick up these little tid bits – the few that their wives aren’t pimping out. For example – I caught an episode of “Dr. Phil” that his wife took over and she was pimping cosmetic surgery and “mommy make-overs”. It just makes me so fucking sick – how can you denounce skin bleaching and promote plastic surgery in the same breath? It’s women like this that actually promote unhealthy body image and standards. Because they are REJECTING saggin’ breasts and stretch marked bellies… Just by bringing it up, at all – they are reinforcing the idea that women should give a shit about their “attractiveness” in the first  place.

In one breath they will say skin bleaching is wrong and in the next – claim that tummy tucks and breast augmentation are important for a womans self-esteem. But you know – the women who have the best self-esteems in the world, are the women who don’t give a shit about pleasing others with their image.

Women like this claim that they do it for themselves. That they feel ugly and can’t be happy without such surgeries… And isn’t that just promoting the message? I mean, I have to wonder how many women who never thought about it – watched a show like this one and  started to feel badly about how they look, when they never did before…

It’s why I hate TV so fucking much. And I generally watch it with a critics perspective… meaning that I’ll watch the ads and critique them. I’ll watch the shows and critique them. I’ll think about how shows entitled “I hate my small breasts” are probably being funded by plastic surgeons. Or maybe Dr. Phil’s wife gets a cut for promoting mommy make-overs. But most people are too stupid to put these things together in their minds. Or they are too preoccupied with this illusion of physical perfection that they just don’t even think about it.

But yeah – women who don’t put emphasis on their appearences are ALWAYS going to be happier. It’s a game that even women who are close to the mold can never win. One thing that I have noticed over the years – women who focus on their appearences and the closer they get to that mold – the more insecure they seem to get and the more addicted to physical affirmation they become.

Preggos at the Bunny Ranch

October 6, 2010

One day I caught the Tyra Banks episode (if I remember correctly) of a pregnant woman who was (is?) working at the Bunny Ranch.  Obviously she worked there BEFORE getting pregnant but what happened was – she got pregnant and she became a “hot ticket item”. I guess there seems to be a lot of men who have a fetish for pregnant women.

What was disturbing to me was how this woman really didn’t want to be working while she was pregnant. She felt disturbed by dealing with Johns with a baby in the womb. And she mentioned she’d get really irritated and pissed off when they’d try to rub her stomach or acknowledge it at all.

It was really creepy – I gotta say. The way these men were looking at her stomach – like it was a foot long sub and they hadn’t eaten for two weeks or some shit. And I felt really terrible about it because it was CLEAR that she wasn’t into having sex with these guys, or even being around them…

So why was she staying? The money and the DEMAND (see that word, read it and learn it cuz it’s the most IMPORTANT driving force of sex work); The demand was so high for a pregnant woman – that she felt like she was missing on opportunities to take care of her future child (iow – MONEY). She mentioned in the interview that she always felt relieved when they would all line up so that the Johns could make their choice, and they’d go for a non-pregnant woman (even with how these women line up for the Johns so they can make their “selection” is creepy, in my mind – it’s earily too much like the slave trade).

And it’s like – people want to call this empowering? I don’t get it. Yes, there are times when I really don’t want to be at my job – like right now, I have a really horrid sinus headache…. and being at work with that kind of thing really blows (actually being anywhere – even trying to sleep blows – cuz I can’t sleep with this kind of headache). BUT imagine trying to interact with strangers on a personal level – in a somewhat intimate level (even if superficial), feeling like that? Having people touch you? Groping your unborn child?

I feel like these guys are pedophiles. I mean – that’s what it felt like watching that show… They were basically saying it’s so sexy for women to have this new life in their stomach – and that’s THE fetish – UNBORN child. And I’m just like, ICK. That isn’t even your kid in her womb dude.

I don’t know – it’s just fucking creepy. I understand why’d she’d get irritable when guys would rub her stomach or touch it, and a lot of them would even talk to it (which bothered her even more, if I remember correctly – she didn’t want her baby remembering THEIR voices).

And the scumbag Bunny Ranch owner didn’t give a fuck – the Johns didn’t give a fuck – even when she was recoiling away from them in disgust. They just didn’t seem to notice or care. And I can’t help but think that there is something not right upstairs with these men… And this is why I think they are pedophiles because they weren’t even interested if the prostitute wanted them or was at ease (it didn’t even seem like they noticed HER)… She was an irrelevant prop in their creepy fetish. How can men get boners with women who are obviously feeling that way? Women who can’t even bring themselves to put on the act? It boggles my mind. And this is why I think a lot of Johns are criminal and that their behavior is rapey (love that term rapey – stole it from pixiebiz on youtube). Because many of them don’t care if they are shackin’ up with an underage girl (some even go specifically for the 13 yr olds) or someone who has been trafficked from other countries… They don’t really care if the woman starts to recoil – they want what they paid for and any regard for her comfort or even her sexual pleasure is completely ignored.

And you know – I’d be interested to know how much of a womans own sexuality is taken into account during this type of interaction. Do the men care? Are they just looking for the stereotypical type sexuality spewed all over popular media/porn? How much of it really has to do with the woman?

I totally recommend watching that Tyra show. They show her with some of these Johns and she’s literally making disgusted faces at these guys and sometimes even backing away from them… Where is the “enthusiastic consent” bullshit that everyone keeps going on about? I sure as fuck didn’t see it. In short – it’s rape. Does the aspect of “money” change the fact that she really didn’t want to interact sexually with these fuckers?

Someone left this link on another blog

January 31, 2010

It’s a really great video about “choice” in prostitution.  One thing that I LOVE about it, it’s coming from the mouths of women who exited from being prostituted. SO anyway, I’ll just let them speak for themselves.

http://www.womenlobby.org/site/video_en.asp