Boobs are an accessory! Didn’t ya hear?

I’m a bit irritated that a bunch of the anti-porn feminists I associate with on youtube are accused of objectifying sex workers (and thus – being called misogynists). One of them made a comment about someone’s eyebrows and that’s what this is based on (she wasn’t a sex worker – she was someone who likes to pimp porn out to people)… Which I mean, yeah – picking apart someone’s eyebrows isn’t really nice… And I get that point… It’s not a good idea to attack someone’s appearences as a feminist – but almost every feminist blunders up once in a while.

But the reality is that the people who view porn objecitfy sex workers on a much greater level. And I think this is true for many reasons. For one – pornographers themselves, objectify sex workers. AND they even basically “slut-shame” the women in porn. I mean – just read through the most popular titles… Slut? Bitch? Whore? These names are often found in titles – and sometimes the titles are even reduced to female body parts… Think about that for a minute… They even reduce men to their dicks very often. So there is something to be said for how men are objectifed as well. I remember seeing some documentary about porn and I think it might have been Jenna – she had a bunch of men lined up and decided based on their penis shape and size – who she would do porn with… So even the men are objectified.

I’ve heard how men talk about porn stars too. I mean – I’ve heard them pick apart the appearences of porn actresses in a level of excess. Like tearing her apart for having some cellulite or a big nose, or having breasts that are too big or too small (but no comment on Ron Jeremy’s appearence?)… AND I’ve even heard some of the meanest shit being said about porn actresses coming from the mouths of other porn actresses. For example – when MTV did this show on people with “porn addictions” (True Life, I think it was)- one of the porn actresses lost an award to another woman for porn awards and the first thing she did was put down the appearences of the porn actress that won. Isn’t she objecitfying the other porn actress, as well as herself? I mean, she was basically spouting off about how she should have won cuz she had better curves. SEE? It has little to do with “services” and a lot to do with how women look – even the porn actresses themselves who are somewhat popular can admit that – why can’t the pro-sex industry feminists admit it?

And isn’t it possible that when women get boob jobs to look a certain way that has been normalized as sexy, it’s a form of self-objectification (sort of like how anorexia could be seen as self-objectification)? There was another True Life episode about women who hate their small breasts – and this woman’s friends (they were all gogo dancers) – were basically trying to tell her it would be a good idea to get a boob job, they were trying to talk her into it. Isn’t that objectification? Aren’t they basically saying that her small boobs aren’t good enough, “sexy” enough? Of course, they just try to write if off like, “you’ll get more attention and tips!” Forget trying to set a new standard, you know? If people can’t walk into the sex industry and feel good about themselves, as they are – how the fuck is it empowering? Somehow picking apart someone’s eyebrows is worse than that? I mean – if Divinity REALLY cared – wouldn’t she be targeting the people who are much more ruthless? OH WAIT! That would include attacking people within the industry as well – which wouldn’t be good for ratings, would it? Not to mention – a lot of men who view porn are very fatphobic when it comes to women… It’s actually more common then you’d expect.

And if what Jenna Jameson said about how it felt like she was competing with the biggest pair of fake breasts to become popular is true –  aren’t the people who are making these women famous,  also objectifying them? Aren’t they the ones demanding the big fake boobs? Aren’t they, in a sense, reducing women to breasts? I mean – it’s the fans who are making them feel like they need to live up to that standard, am I right? And I mean – it seems undeniable how important large breasts (usually large ones that stick straight out) are considered VERY important for success in the sex industry. Or do I have it totally wrong? I feel that porn has contributed to the amount of shaming I’ve had to deal with around having small breasts. And this form of shaming comes in all shapes and sizes (no pun) – like not being able to find bras my size that aren’t filled with a good 3 inches of padding, at least. Or like my ex – who told me I’d look sexier with a boob job (who was obsessed with porn). He wasn’t objectifying me in that situation and porn didn’t influence him? And I’ve delt with a lot of women who complain about how “small” their breasts are in front of me – when mine are like twice as small… (which is a total shaming technique I’ve been long aware of).

And then I think about all of the comments being left on Neesa’s exit interview with Max Hardcore – and I’m thinking – THESE GUYS ARE PORN FANS. And they refuse to believe that anything bad happened to her, and even if it did, it’s her fault cuz she got into the porn industry and she should have known being raped is to be expected. I mean – these men, who want to defend porn on EVERY level – don’t give a shit about the person who went through something traumatic – what is more misogynistic than that? In their minds – Neesa is only good for one thing – which seems to be like the basis for objecitfication.It’s pretty clear because how many people getting off on porn actually spend the time to do research on the people they are getting off to? I have not dated ONE MAN who viewed porn, who also got on-line and researched the women and men they were getting off to. They were NEVER interested in finding out about them as human beings.  And I can’t even count the number of men I’ve known who use porn – but would never ever marry or date a porn actress… or ANY sex worker, for that matter. I’ve heard men say, with my own ears, “Women like that are only good for fucking.” At LEAST you’ll never hear anti-porn feminist treat sex workers with THAT level of hatred.

And the last point I wanted to make is that sometimes feminists make mistakes. Like how some feminists will tear down how skinny women look. I’m not going to sit here and say that they are misogynists for it because I understand that when they say those things – they are coming from a place of frustration. And they are just tired of the skinny beauty standard. I could take extreme personal offense to those things (and on occasion, I felt frustrated with it) or try and understand where they are coming from – which is what I try my best to do. I ALSO don’t pluck my eyebrows and have had my sister (who’s a cosmotologist) make fun of them and say they look like grandpa eyebrows. haha. I just thought it was funny, I don’t know. Certain personal attacks – I don’t really care about. Partially cuz I know that eyebrows are something I could change – if I wanted to care about it. You know? Being skinny isn’t something I can change and breasts aren’t something I can change without risking my own life and health.

I also think it’s amusing that there is a woman who is friends with Divinity and she’s made fun of someone’s snaggle tooth who is an anti-porn feminist AND an ex sex worker (I also have a snaggle tooth, I just don’t give a shit) AND picked me apart because I admitted I mostly just wear jeans and a hoodie/t-shirt. And they were raggin’ on me for a while for dressing like a “man”.  Haha.  Someone attacking my “manly” clothing choices, never heard that one before! haha. Shaming me for not appealing to men! That’s so feminist!

And so people can get the jist of what TRUE misogyny is, I will provide a link. I think that this article outlines misogyny pretty well….

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/misogyny.shtml

Some good quotes from the article:

 “So what a misogynist truly loves is the shallow image of women that exists only in one’s mind and is illustrated in society in such things as pornography or mainstream media that espouses that ideal. The hatred is directed at real women, for not living up to a misogynist’s expectations of women being easy to control and for not providing adequate stimulation for men’s interest.”

It should also be pointed out that in addition to hurting women, misogyny also hurts men. By objectifying women, men are also objectifying themselves. Dating and sex becomes a contest as misogynists try to achieve high degrees of “success” with women, with success being defined as receiving attention from the most desirable women. Emotions are repressed, personal growth is stunted and true intimacy becomes impossible.”

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