Archive for June, 2010

Boobs are an accessory! Didn’t ya hear?

June 17, 2010

I’m a bit irritated that a bunch of the anti-porn feminists I associate with on youtube are accused of objectifying sex workers (and thus – being called misogynists). One of them made a comment about someone’s eyebrows and that’s what this is based on (she wasn’t a sex worker – she was someone who likes to pimp porn out to people)… Which I mean, yeah – picking apart someone’s eyebrows isn’t really nice… And I get that point… It’s not a good idea to attack someone’s appearences as a feminist – but almost every feminist blunders up once in a while.

But the reality is that the people who view porn objecitfy sex workers on a much greater level. And I think this is true for many reasons. For one – pornographers themselves, objectify sex workers. AND they even basically “slut-shame” the women in porn. I mean – just read through the most popular titles… Slut? Bitch? Whore? These names are often found in titles – and sometimes the titles are even reduced to female body parts… Think about that for a minute… They even reduce men to their dicks very often. So there is something to be said for how men are objectifed as well. I remember seeing some documentary about porn and I think it might have been Jenna – she had a bunch of men lined up and decided based on their penis shape and size – who she would do porn with… So even the men are objectified.

I’ve heard how men talk about porn stars too. I mean – I’ve heard them pick apart the appearences of porn actresses in a level of excess. Like tearing her apart for having some cellulite or a big nose, or having breasts that are too big or too small (but no comment on Ron Jeremy’s appearence?)… AND I’ve even heard some of the meanest shit being said about porn actresses coming from the mouths of other porn actresses. For example – when MTV did this show on people with “porn addictions” (True Life, I think it was)- one of the porn actresses lost an award to another woman for porn awards and the first thing she did was put down the appearences of the porn actress that won. Isn’t she objecitfying the other porn actress, as well as herself? I mean, she was basically spouting off about how she should have won cuz she had better curves. SEE? It has little to do with “services” and a lot to do with how women look – even the porn actresses themselves who are somewhat popular can admit that – why can’t the pro-sex industry feminists admit it?

And isn’t it possible that when women get boob jobs to look a certain way that has been normalized as sexy, it’s a form of self-objectification (sort of like how anorexia could be seen as self-objectification)? There was another True Life episode about women who hate their small breasts – and this woman’s friends (they were all gogo dancers) – were basically trying to tell her it would be a good idea to get a boob job, they were trying to talk her into it. Isn’t that objectification? Aren’t they basically saying that her small boobs aren’t good enough, “sexy” enough? Of course, they just try to write if off like, “you’ll get more attention and tips!” Forget trying to set a new standard, you know? If people can’t walk into the sex industry and feel good about themselves, as they are – how the fuck is it empowering? Somehow picking apart someone’s eyebrows is worse than that? I mean – if Divinity REALLY cared – wouldn’t she be targeting the people who are much more ruthless? OH WAIT! That would include attacking people within the industry as well – which wouldn’t be good for ratings, would it? Not to mention – a lot of men who view porn are very fatphobic when it comes to women… It’s actually more common then you’d expect.

And if what Jenna Jameson said about how it felt like she was competing with the biggest pair of fake breasts to become popular is true –  aren’t the people who are making these women famous,  also objectifying them? Aren’t they the ones demanding the big fake boobs? Aren’t they, in a sense, reducing women to breasts? I mean – it’s the fans who are making them feel like they need to live up to that standard, am I right? And I mean – it seems undeniable how important large breasts (usually large ones that stick straight out) are considered VERY important for success in the sex industry. Or do I have it totally wrong? I feel that porn has contributed to the amount of shaming I’ve had to deal with around having small breasts. And this form of shaming comes in all shapes and sizes (no pun) – like not being able to find bras my size that aren’t filled with a good 3 inches of padding, at least. Or like my ex – who told me I’d look sexier with a boob job (who was obsessed with porn). He wasn’t objectifying me in that situation and porn didn’t influence him? And I’ve delt with a lot of women who complain about how “small” their breasts are in front of me – when mine are like twice as small… (which is a total shaming technique I’ve been long aware of).

And then I think about all of the comments being left on Neesa’s exit interview with Max Hardcore – and I’m thinking – THESE GUYS ARE PORN FANS. And they refuse to believe that anything bad happened to her, and even if it did, it’s her fault cuz she got into the porn industry and she should have known being raped is to be expected. I mean – these men, who want to defend porn on EVERY level – don’t give a shit about the person who went through something traumatic – what is more misogynistic than that? In their minds – Neesa is only good for one thing – which seems to be like the basis for objecitfication.It’s pretty clear because how many people getting off on porn actually spend the time to do research on the people they are getting off to? I have not dated ONE MAN who viewed porn, who also got on-line and researched the women and men they were getting off to. They were NEVER interested in finding out about them as human beings.  And I can’t even count the number of men I’ve known who use porn – but would never ever marry or date a porn actress… or ANY sex worker, for that matter. I’ve heard men say, with my own ears, “Women like that are only good for fucking.” At LEAST you’ll never hear anti-porn feminist treat sex workers with THAT level of hatred.

And the last point I wanted to make is that sometimes feminists make mistakes. Like how some feminists will tear down how skinny women look. I’m not going to sit here and say that they are misogynists for it because I understand that when they say those things – they are coming from a place of frustration. And they are just tired of the skinny beauty standard. I could take extreme personal offense to those things (and on occasion, I felt frustrated with it) or try and understand where they are coming from – which is what I try my best to do. I ALSO don’t pluck my eyebrows and have had my sister (who’s a cosmotologist) make fun of them and say they look like grandpa eyebrows. haha. I just thought it was funny, I don’t know. Certain personal attacks – I don’t really care about. Partially cuz I know that eyebrows are something I could change – if I wanted to care about it. You know? Being skinny isn’t something I can change and breasts aren’t something I can change without risking my own life and health.

I also think it’s amusing that there is a woman who is friends with Divinity and she’s made fun of someone’s snaggle tooth who is an anti-porn feminist AND an ex sex worker (I also have a snaggle tooth, I just don’t give a shit) AND picked me apart because I admitted I mostly just wear jeans and a hoodie/t-shirt. And they were raggin’ on me for a while for dressing like a “man”.  Haha.  Someone attacking my “manly” clothing choices, never heard that one before! haha. Shaming me for not appealing to men! That’s so feminist!

And so people can get the jist of what TRUE misogyny is, I will provide a link. I think that this article outlines misogyny pretty well….

Some good quotes from the article:

 “So what a misogynist truly loves is the shallow image of women that exists only in one’s mind and is illustrated in society in such things as pornography or mainstream media that espouses that ideal. The hatred is directed at real women, for not living up to a misogynist’s expectations of women being easy to control and for not providing adequate stimulation for men’s interest.”

It should also be pointed out that in addition to hurting women, misogyny also hurts men. By objectifying women, men are also objectifying themselves. Dating and sex becomes a contest as misogynists try to achieve high degrees of “success” with women, with success being defined as receiving attention from the most desirable women. Emotions are repressed, personal growth is stunted and true intimacy becomes impossible.”

Emotionally invested arguments?

June 16, 2010

It’s very frequently an argument I get against any kind of critique I have against pornography. People will often come at me with, “Well you’ve had negative experiences with porn, which is why you are emotionally invested in speaking out against it.”

Lets ignore for a moment, how this is a grossly used logically fallacy or red herring…

What about porn users? Or porn actresses? Or sex workers in general…?  Aren’t they emotionally invested in DEFENDING pornography/sex industry? I personally think so.

There are definite negative experiences I have had dealing with pornography (this includes how the imagery has made me feel). Like the guy I lost my virginity to who continually told me I’d look better with breast implants or how he would constantly beg me to allow him to penetrate me anally… And then there’s the fact that my own father is a porn addict – who lost all ability to be intimate.

But these are only the ROOTS of my issues with porn and have only a portion to do with my feelings on the issue. They were a bridge to my thinking but not really the all encompassing reason for my thinking. If that makes any sense at all.

This reminds me of make-up. A lot of women will get really offended about my opinions on make-up – even if I’m just talking about how shitty the industry is. They act like I attack them, personally, for using it. And they’ll come at me with all of these stupid bullshit arguments to defend make-up – like calling it art…. Or just saying that they use it to get by… which are totally superficial arguments for using make-up and really quite the opposite of why they use it in the first place (which in my owm mind amounts to social conditioning – I know I watched my mom apply her face every morning). I mean – there are parallels between the people who wear make-up and defend it from any sort of critique and the way people who use pornography or who have a personal investment in it, defend it from all critique.

Like the inability to acknowledge the sexism. I mean – make-up is sexist. There is a sexist expectation around it – just like there are sexist expectations in what men should be seeing in hetero mainstream pornography. I mean – I can’t even count the number of men who come to any sort of discussion about pornography and deny what seems to be VERY OBVIOUS bias against women. Or they justify it as being “art” or they justify it as being “fantasy”. And the fantasy thing always irritates me – because after they make that comment – they insist that porn doesn’t influence men at all.

I even think to myself often – if you are a straight guy – how can you accurately judge how OTHER men behave sexually with their real life partners? It’s irritating.  Not that I’ve had sex with lots of men and that my experiences reflect the entire population of porn watching males…. but I’m pretty sure that I have more experiences that can justify my position. Whereas – any man equating every other mans sexuality to his own, really does not justify their position on pornography. A lot of men think like that – because THEY don’t try to have porn sex with their partners – other men won’t. Which is just wishful thinking in all reality.

My point is that any porn user – is going to be emotionally invested to defend porn. And it’s really irritating because they will even defend all levels of it… Rape assimilations that are specifically showing women being raped a majority of the time. They’ll justify the totally sexist and degrading imagery – usually at the porn actresses expense (saying cuz she consented to do it – somehow that makes the imagery less degrading). 

And it’s like – I see right through it because I don’t even sit here and say that MY JOB is free from degrading aspects. Or any job for that matter. The attempt to defend it in every single way just proves how emotionally invested these people are. I even point out to people that the idea of people having sex in a video does not really offend me… It really doesn’t. And if that’s ALL PORN WAS – I’d probably wouldn’t feel so against porn.

And it’s another moment where – when people accuse me of being “emotionally invested” in my anti-pornography stance – I think they are probably projectiong their own emotional investment onto me. Because at least I can ADMIT that there are negative things I’ve experienced with porn that have pointed me in this direction – THEY cannot even admit that their own porn usage emotional invests them to defend it at ALL costs, from any sort of meaningful critique.

A bit on legalized prostitution….

June 7, 2010

It’s sort of funny when I see people talking about legalizing prostitution… For one – it’s never 100% legal. No country in the world has made it as legal as sewing, for example. I can sew in any neighborhood. I can sew on any street corner, or in any shop (unless I’m loitering, hehe)…But places that “legalize” prostitution never completely make it legal.

They zone. They pick a spot (usually, but not always, the dumpiest part of a city that is already flooded with prostitutes) and say “This is where you can have sex for money.”  If you live in a suburban neighborhood – it’s illegal to prostitute there. If you live down the street from a school/hospital – it’s still illegal there. So I get a bit irritated when people accuse some feminists of trying to control what people do in their own bedrooms… Cuz guess what? Even when it’s “legal” in the way that you are talking about – you still aren’t allowed to fuck in your own bedroom for money…. Not unless you live in areas with the lowest property taxes or in the middle of nowhere with little to no human contact, like the Bunny Ranch (should I even capitalise that?).

My point is –  legalized prostitution will never be 100% because people don’t want that kind of mentality mixed in with their children (for good reason, in my opinion). They don’t want to have brothels down the street where legitimized pimps might lure them in for “easy” money. And I could see that happening – even if the person being lurred in is 18, still seems too young to make such a drastic decision. I think if everyone were really honest with themselves – they’d admit that too. At 18, we are still just as stupid as we were when we were 15.  I mean, I didn’t even really get what I wanted out of life until around 25 or so – didn’t stop making huge mistakes until 25. I imagine it’s similar for others.

I do think that in many ways – legalization would make things worse for sex workers. Like the points I hear many great feminists make, about how when it’s regulated, it is going to prevent women/men with STD/Is or even any other diseases from have sex for money. As it is now – anyone with any disease can do it at the same risk. But won’t total legalization totally marginalize people who can’t pass a test? So all of a sudden the person that’s turning tricks to pay for their medications are going to be the “criminals” – in many ways – MOST of the prostitutes working in the US will STILL be considered criminal under legalization (whereas decriminalization would prevent this).

If it’s legalized – then all these other things might be thrown into the mix – like forcing workers to take drug tests… In many ways – that would be a good thing. I have a feeling it would cut the supply of porn actresses/actors at least 3/4 (and probably a good portion of the bias degrading imagery directed at women). I mean – no other job really allows for doing drugs or drinking on the job. Even if you work in a bar – it’s illegal to drink while you are serving. So what I’m getting at is that prostitutes with drug addictions would still be looked at as criminals. Cuz they wouldn’t be “legal” prostitutes. I can’t imagine a regulated sex indsutry handing out licenses to drug addicts or HIV positive people.

It cracks me up because the people that are like “lets legalize it and regulate it” are often the ones who want to keep their entitlement to buy sex (even if they haven’t or never plan to).  I wonder if they ever think about how things would change – like being forced to use rubbers, like being forced to be tested THEMSELVES for STDs before using a prostitute. I mean, the list could go on and on forever, the regulations could become insane, and it would probably make it such a pain in the ass (and more expensive) that most men (underprivileged, lower class) would still go and buy unlicensed/underage prostitutes.

But the major reason I am against this fashion of “legalization” is that I don’t trust the US government. We don’t even waste a moment to regulate OFF SHORE DRILLING – something that can even kill the rich and powerful – and people actually have some idea that the US government would bother regulating prostitution? My my, aren’t they delusional?

Seriously, I’ve been vegan for how many years? And the government has done squat to regulate animal enterprises. As long as you are profiting off of your animal torture – it’s a fucking free for all. The only animal torture the average person from the US cares about is puppy mills. They do nothing to regulate how cows, chickens and pigs are treated – YET, these delusional “lets make prostitution legal!” asshats actually think the government would lift a pinky to help prostitutes?

Think about this – a good majority of our government is run by religious folks who hate prostitutes (even if they use them because they probably blame the prostitutes for their own adultery).  Many of the government officials PROFIT off of prostitution rings etc. I mean – I’ve heard it in the news from time to time (and you KNOW there is more going on – they just haven’t been caught) – for every lie told, you know – there’s bound to be hundreds more.

I honestly think that our government LIKES the unregulated sex industry. And whether or not it is legal, I believe they will keep it unregulated – even if they have a thick ass book of regulations they’ll pretend to enforce (as with animals), it just won’t be. The only ones that will be enforced, are likely the ones that protect the John – not the prostitute. And the only prostitutes that will be protected – would be the high class escorts…

I mean – people parade the Amsterdam cliche – and they never stop to think about how the CONSUMER should be tested before using a prostitute. Right? It makes me laugh when people are like “but prostitutes are tested for STD’s in Amsterdam!!!” But if you look it up – you realize that they aren’t tested in between every John.  I mean – if you think about a prostitute being with like 3 people in one day – multiply that by 7 – there are 21 potential risks between the next test.

I don’t know – I just think that in such a sexually repressed culture as the US of Assholes would be a really bad place to try “legalization”.   The combination of improper sexual education (or worse, abstinence only education) and the pornification of our culture is a very bad combination to try the legalization bit. If sex was more about mutual pleasure in our culture  I might think it a bit different (maybe not too). Of course – I have a feeling a culture that didn’t include a lot of sexual repression would have no use for prostitutes, strip clubs OR pornography.  All of these things seem to be the result of sexual repression, in my own mind (well, a combo of entitlement AND repression definitely cook up the concoction of mainstream hetero gonzo).

If only people would just enjoy sex – rather than trying to escape it by getting off…

Youtube full of haters!

June 1, 2010

So I’ve been following some of the anti-porn (or sex work) feminists on youtube for quite some time. I guess I was bored of ranting, and just got sucked in! There are so many haters on there though. Two people have had their channels hacked, porn uploaded onto it and then their channels are obviously revoked because porn isn’t suppose to be on youtube. Typical that they’d upload porn, isn’t it?

These men (I’m assuming) are such cowards! And the fact that they go to such lengths to pull this shit is proof, it’s proof of how evil porn is. Because they can’t even bother debate or discuss, or PROVE why the points being made are wrong – so they just gotta knock them out. It’s so freaking irritating. I’ve pretty much stopped watching TV to watch my usual subscriptions (if I have a choice of hearing some intelligant woman speak or watching some stupid, vapid, self-absorbed strippers on reality TV shows – well you know what I’ll pick).  But it’s like – no one can make videos anymore because they keep getting hacked, or false flagged or false DMCAed. It’s really REALLY irritating. And you know the morons pulling this shit are from the camp “porn is free speech” – yet they won’t allow free speech about porn. It’s so disgusting how people try and prevent any discussion or critique about porn that goes deeper than “fantasy”.

Even the guys on there that are sort of in our camp – are just kinda “meh” about it. There’s no attempt to help the “anti-sex” (SNORT) feminists out. There are some guys on there that have made some good videos against complete legalization of porn, and actually admitting why some women might be offended by the imagery, or even agreeing that most of the women in this work probably didn’t choose “freely”.

Their are quite a few guys that FLOCK to all of the anti-porn channels and basically just write the same long paragraphys about how if a woman chooses to do it – what right do we have to tell her what to do with her body? Well fuck face – what right do YOU have to tell us what to say or what can come out of our mouths (of in my case – fingertips). It’s all about CHOICE CHOICE – until it’s a woman going against what is traditional or going against any kind of opposition to something men feel entitled to.

Oh and then there are the usual women on youtube who just want to kowtow to the cock (stole that line from DianaBoston). They use the same bullshit arguments that legalizing will be the save all, end all of sex work abuse! BULLSHIT. The only reason they say this crap – is because it makes them popular with the men. Because no evidence proves this to be true – in fact, all of the evidence goes AGAINST their claims. The black markets flourish, more trafficking, and usually drug problems escalate along with the problems of prostitution.

And these women – constantly make videos misrepresenting the views of many anti-porn feminists. Some of us believe in censorship but I think that most of us agree that censorship will do little or nothing to solve issues. They accuse us of hating prostitutes and sex workers (I just hate the ones that brag about their boob jobs or who are totally narcissistic – you know, the kind represented on TV) – but only because I hate those kinds of behaviors in ANYONE – whether sex worker or not, male or female etc.

It’s so irritating to really understand how the sex industry consistently and constantly tries to control womens (peoples?) bodies – and to be accused of trying to do the same thing. I’ve made this point before to those logical fallacies (and lies btw) – I have NEVER put a gun to any womans head and told her she couldn’t be a stripper or sex worker. BUT many MANY women have had guns put to their head (or entrapped in some other way) and told that they HAVE to do sex work. How many women developed STDs because the porn companies won’t hire women who want to use protection? I mean – women and men don’t even have the freedom to wear rubbers.

So wait – who’s controlling who?

It’s just like those women who brag about taking one up the ass or getting a “facial” to totally accuse ME of trying to control women. What about how social pressures have forced you into thinking you have to take one up the ass or get some assholes splooge in your eye? Who’s the one who is so indoctrinated you couldn’t understand how society has conditioned you from the day of birth into thinking compliance to men is the number one female priority? Who’s the one giving up their own pleasure – for pain, and humiliation for the pleasure of some asshole?

Truth Vs Compliance