Radical Feminists CAN’T be transphobic…

September 26, 2011

Iremythpurr pointed me to this “lovely” article:

IF you are a radical feminist, you don’t HATE transexuals and simply disagree with the idea that gender is something human beings are born with, thumb up this post!!!

Lets see if we can disprove this silencing accusation! I question GENDER, and it is not an issue that is unique to transexuals, HOW does this make me transphobic? It doesn’t. Almost 100% of the people in my life think gender is something they were born with (family and friends that I love)… This accusation is a silencing technique and it NEEDS to be called out for what it is…

The Exchange on NHPR discussing sex and learning

September 21, 2011


Discussing how stereotypes about males and females influence career paths/abilities etc.
I wish they had discussed more why there is a bigger difference between male and female ADULT brain structures, than there is between child sexes. They point out how the differences between male and female children brain structures are trivial – but they don’t really explain how these expectations of the sexes discourage members of either sex to USE certain parts of their brain – which will obviously nurture the way the brain is structured in adulthood.
Of course some asshat had to call in and present a “hypothetical” in attempt to “prove” the researchers have some sort of bias in this (he said something like, “Well if we lived in an androgynous society and men still were more interested in construction than women, would you still think these differences are nurtured?” – something like that). What he was attempting to do was so incredibly obvious and if I had been one of the researchers, it would have annoyed me A LOT but they played it cool. I’m actually surprised that there were MORE people calling in speaking out against stereotypes of the sexes. Made me feel kind of happy…

When women give men advice…

September 1, 2011

So I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of weeks even though it’s old news at this point…

Apparently – every single time a woman gives men advice about how to approach her, she’s telling men what to do, planning to create laws against approaching women in elevators, and has an entire army behind her to force them into submission!!! ha ha.

Of course that’s not the reality but there are a lot of men who just can’t handle advice coming from women – even if it’s advice that might actually help him navigate the dating scene. She said, “Word for the WISE.” – so the advice was clearly not for shit-stains and men who only have two brain cells that are fighting each other…

Okay, so to understand what I’m talking about, search “elevatorgate” and just LOOK at the SHIT STORM that was created out of a woman simply stating that she did not appreciate being approached by a man in an elevator alone, at 4AM for “coffee in his room” after an atheist convention (this is a guy she didn’t even have a conversation with previously). The shit storm was so incredible, some men were even trying to claim that this poor poor REJECTED man on the elevator, REALLY just wanted coffee (HA HA! EVERYONE in the US knows what that is code for, yet a lot of men will still insist that coffee at 4AM is JUST coffee). I think if he JUST wanted coffee – he would have invited her anywhere BUT his hotel room…

Isn’t that pathetic? Count the busted up egos, seriously – just count them (to get the most hits, search on youtube). There were a lot of people defending the woman in the elevator (Rebecca Watson) but those numbers PALED in comparison to the multitudes of MEN who uploaded videos whining about her advice. The irony of it all, is that a lot of them were telling her she doesn’t have the right to tell them not to approach women alone in elevators… Really? You are going to get angry for a woman giving advice but then turn around and give her advice?! (SO TYPICAL)

Another typical thing I noticed about this – was that a lot of men who made videos against Rebecca Watson used the ole, “Well not ALL women are threatened by men who approach them alone in elevators at 4 AM.” – the classic – pitting women against each other as a form of manipulation. It’s really on par with the type of men who are like, “Women in porn have anal, so why won’t you?” or “Some women like watching porn with their boyfriends, so why won’t you?” Basically – men using the women who reinforce male entightlement to try an manipulate women into doing what men want (it happens most in sexual terms) – even AFTER the woman they are attempting to manipulate has made it clear what they like or don’t like (and I’ve HAD a guy use this tactic to try and get me to have anal with him – when I made it clear over and over that it was a no go this was 15 yrs ago tho)… I’m sure men don’t appreciate their girlfriends saying things like, “Well THEY are getting married, he bought HER a diamond ring, so why can’t you do it for me!” (the tactic is so infantile and something that never escapes my notice).

Men know that women (insecure) are often competitive for the “coveted” cock and they’ll use this to squeeze individuality out of women (not that I’m too stupid to fall for it). Women who watch porn with their boyfriends or have anal are the “cool” chicks man, like why the hell wouldn’t you WANT to be just like them! They give men ERECTIONS (what OTHER compliment could a woman ask for?!?!), so they must like totally be AWESOME! (I hope ppl know I’m being sarcastic). And you KNOW when you’ve had a run in with women who BELIEVE this cock and bull… Because they are the types that brag about having anal sex or watching porn (and they’ll insert this into conversations at random) – ESPECIALLY around a group of men…They think it’s something they deserve a pat on the back for. ick

I’m willing to bet my right arm (and I’m right handed – unless we are talkin’ tennis) that men use this shit all the time to get their “virgin” female partners to have PIV… Like “My best friend’s girlfriend is doing it…”

As soon as a guy says “Well such and such woman does it” and it’s something he’s trying to get you to do – that you don’t want to do… RUN FOR THE HILLS! The only thing men like that respect – are their erections.

Another thing I was thinking about in this situation…What if she HAD gone back to his hotel room and he raped her? You know, just as well as I do, she would have been blamed (by the same men who HATE her for rejecting elevator boy and giving men advice) for being stupid enough to go back to some strangers hotel room… They would have ASSUMED that her going back to his room was an invitation into her vagina or asshole.

My last point is simply – I think RWs advice about approaching women was GOOD advice. I don’t care if some women don’t mind being approached that way – they probably would still prefer being approached in a less secluded place… And what cracks me up about these foolish men is that her advice actually might help them get sex more often! ha ha. And isn’t THAT the truth? Men would RATHER sabatage themselves before taking advice from a lowly woman.

In closing – Some guy told me the other day that smoking is bad for me, how DARE he tell me what to do! He doesn’t speak for ALL smokers! My ex’s grandmother started smoking when she was 10 and she’s now 98!

“Nice Guys”

July 15, 2011

It’s always the self professed “nice guys” that aren’t actually nice at all. It’s just something I’ve been seeing a lot of lately. The “nice” guys who start moving in on you when you’re sitting at the bar for TEN minutes for your friends to show up… but hey – when they “hit on” you – they are at least nice about it…and so what? Apparently women aren’t allowed to feel uncomfortable, intimidated, irritated or annoyed with that crap.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot because of “elevatorgate” (link under this paragraph). To sum it up – it’s about a guy who asked a woman (Rebecca Watson) for coffee in his hotel room after an atheist convention at 4 AM, when he was alone with her in an elevator (http://skepchick.org/2011/07/the-privilege-delusion/).

Anyway, she made a very VERY calm video on YT about it and was basically just saying, “Please don’t do this.” She mentioned how the guy was nice and she wasn’t trying to say anything bad about him, but just that the way in which he approached her didn’t make her very comfortable. (there’s more to this, but because I don’t feel like getting into all of it, I just wanted to give the basics).

So anyway, after she made this video – LOTS of videos exploded, created by men. And I suspect – self-profclaimed “nice guys”.

What REEKS about this is how a lot of them are like, “Well you can’t be the boss of me!!!” *sticks out tongue*. Like seriously – that’s what their little “rants” about it are like. All she did was say something like, “Word for the wise, please don’t do that.” and all of a sudden these whiney little adolescent pukes are basically like, “Stop telling us what to do!!!” I SWEAR, this ONLY happens to women when we DARE give men advice – especially about dating (or unless that advice already fits in with how they do things). Of course there are plenty of female doormats coming to the rescue of these self-proclaimed “nice guys”.

But here’s my thinking. HAD he been a REAL nice guy – I don’t think he would have been asking her to his room alone with him. If he *really* did just want to get to know her and chat – he could have asked her to meet him after she got some sleep, no? Or for some breakfast later? He could have invited her somewhere PUBLIC, if he was really interested in her, as a human being.

All these whiney pukes on youtube are like, “HOW does she know he didn’t really just want coffee?!?” It’s like – you’d have to live under a fucking rock to not understand what that really means. It’s like one of the oldest Hollywood cliches of our time, “Wanna get a night cap?” “Want to get a cup of coffee – even tho it’s 4 AM and you just mentioned you are tired, hint hint”.

It’s amazing how purposely naiive men will become to avoid being “caught” in their little schemes. “I didn’t know getting coffee at 4 AM in the morning is a reference to sex!!!” SHYEAH!

I even saw another rant by another guy who was complaining about how the poor menz will have no other ways to get into womens pants if rad fems keep telling them how they can’t approach women. LOL. It’s like dood – why not try to get to know us – you know, like form some fucking friendships that aren’t built around the hope of “someday I’ll get in that pussy”. It makes me very sick actually. I remember in my early 20s, I thought I had a lot of male friends, but damn – was I WRONG. You start to realize it when ALL of them, at one time or another – put the moves on ya.

Feral Children and “gender”

April 19, 2011

So I’ve been searching everywhere to find evidence that feral children are gendered at all. Does anyone else have research on this?

I’ve read a few brief case studies on feral children. Interestingly – most of the feral boys found were indifferent to sex. Isn’t that interesting? So this instinct to reproduce? Is it social socialized, instincutal?


These are some of the others I’ve been looking at…

It’s just interesting to me that when children are raised by dogs – they assume dog behavior – if raised by other primates – they assume that behavior. The most interesting to me is the boy that lived among gazelles. I think that these studies on feral children place emphasis on early childhood brain development – something transexuals wish to ignore these days… sigh

If gender is truly genetic – wouldn’t these children express it on some level – rather than just expressing the behavior of the animals they have lived with???

So what led me here? Well – someone was saying that in places where gender is not pimped out to people – gender is still expressed. However – I don’t think there is ONE society where gender is not associated with biological sex. Even in matriarchies – there are gender roles. I was trying to think of ANY context where people might not be exposed to gender standards – and this feral situation was the only thing I could sort of think of…. And I think I’m right. These children have not been socialized with gender – and they don’t seem to express gender – EVEN when they were raised by other animals that probably have gendered social structures.

After thinking about this in terms of feral children – I’m almost convinced that the “science” and brain scans trying to “prove” that gender is inherent to brain structure – are totally missing the point on how childhood brain development is a key element in all of this.


April 12, 2011

Why don’t feminists discuss bras anymore?

I was informed today – that France has banned the burqa and it makes me think of bras.

People wonder, why the hell would you make that connection?


Bras are about modesty and so aren’t burqas.

I know it’s hard to believe that bras are modest these days – especially with how women hoist them up to look like asscracks (which is the only reason men are attracted to cleavage – just for your info), but it’s true. It isn’t the actual breast that we are forced to be modest about though – it’s the nipples.

Hair? Nipples? Either way – we are being forced to be modest about something we are born with and for what? Men can’t control themselves? Yeah, western men are so civilized.


Well – maybe not physical force, but there is definite social pressure.

Like my boss freaking out about a customer coming to the shop and me not wearing a bra.

Like the women who have been told they will lose their jobs if they do not wear a bra (claiming bras are part of the “uniform” – when it isn’t even listed as part of the uniform).

Like the dirty looks I get from women sporting their push-ups…

Like the time two weeks ago when I was groped – just because I wasn’t wearing a bra.

See – there is social pressure for us to wear bras and I fucking hate them.

I barely have breasts – in fact, a good 75% of men have larger breasts then me (especially in the West) – so what the fuck am I supporting when I wear a bra? Why don’t they need the support?

It’s not about support – don’t let them fool you. It’s about modesty. It’s about keeping breasts as “sexual object” status. It’s about forcing women to wear things that look a lot like harnesses, that hurt and really serve no purpose at all.

And they DO hurt – they hurt me. See – if I am lucky enough to find a bra that fits and doesn’t have wires and two inches of padding on it – it’s not thick enouh to hide my *gasp* nipples. Wire digging into my sternum, wire digging into my ribs and all for what? Modesty.  And cuz I’m so small – half the time the wire rises up – digging into the sensitive tissue…

This subject weighs heavy on me now because the warmer months are coming and it’s a lot harder to hide my braless breasts.

If they are going to ban the burka, then they should ban the bras.

Cosmetics and White Privilege

April 5, 2011

I caught a show last week, I think it might have been Steve Wilkos (yeah, I know, lol) – it caught my eye because it was about a teen and her brother who picked up the habit of skin bleaching (they also lived in an area that wasn’t very diverse and most of the people are white). Steve mentioned something about the dangerous chemicals in the bleaching creams and how they are risking their health for vanity.

And it got me thinking – how is it any different from any other kind of cosmetic? Well, it’s not. MOST forms of make-up, lotions and perfumes used today are toxic. They have carcinogens, toxins, hormone inhibitors and all kinds of scary crap that no one can pronounce in them…

Yet for some reason it’s WORSE when someone is risking their life to look white (it’s totally an issue of privilege when all of the other vanity based practices are ignored). Why is it looked at in such a different light (no pun) then tanning? I’ve seen SOME shows about tanning but people seem to be less critical of it – unless it’s obsessive tanning (like Dr. Phil had a show about a woman and her daughter who tanned twice daily – but he completely ignores the millions who tan four times a week). Women who tan are a lot more likely to end up with skin cancer (probably even more so then bleaching creams)…. Ya know? And pretty much all the products used for tanning (bronzers and such) are also toxic – and they are being BAKED into the skin…

Like why isn’t Steve Wilkos doing shows on the dangers of cosmetic surgery or even regular ole – non-permanent cosmetics – which are applied almost always DAILY. It just seems really out of place to narrow in on this ONE beauty issue. Like that “natural” mineral make-up that is always being promoted – it has nano-sized particulates of silica – silica poisoning is IRREVERSIBLE. You can’t clense that shit out. When I had to crush rocks in lab – we had to run special vaccuums, wear masks and took all these insane precautions to avoid breathing in these same exact particulates.

Not that I support skin bleaching in any fashion (I’m not trying to justify it because other women do similar things, they ALL irritate me and make me a lil sad) but it’s really weird to me how this topic gets zeroed in on very often and how white people everywhere are so shocked – when they do just as many petty and stupid things for vanity. People are SHOCKED that a woman would want to distort her skin color – but pretty much everything in our culture promotes it (one way or the other). Our entire view of what the “feminine” looks like is a distortion, a fake representation – not a REAL one.  

What really pisses me off about it, is that women are expected to distort their appearences anyway. What makes trying to look whiter any different than trying to look more “feminine”.  When women go to lengths to look more “feminine” (hair removal, breast enhancements, lip enhancements – eyelash growing chemicals, bleaching of the hair, hair dyes etc) they are rejecting their own appearence, their BORN appearence in the same way that this girl is rejecting her black skin.

She’s trying to fit the mold, she’s no more deluded than most women.

And it’s really fucking hilarious to me that when white men do shows on things like this (Wilkos and Dr. Phil), they IGNORE the beauty practices their wives uphold, that are also dangerous for the health. It’s so weird to me. Like – why not do a show on how women should accept how they look… as they are.

It’s coming from such a position of privilege for men to talk about these issues and completely ignore the ones that their wives uphold. In many ways – they ARE the problem. Instead of facing it HEAD ON and their wives own vanity practices – they pick up these little tid bits – the few that their wives aren’t pimping out. For example – I caught an episode of “Dr. Phil” that his wife took over and she was pimping cosmetic surgery and “mommy make-overs”. It just makes me so fucking sick – how can you denounce skin bleaching and promote plastic surgery in the same breath? It’s women like this that actually promote unhealthy body image and standards. Because they are REJECTING saggin’ breasts and stretch marked bellies… Just by bringing it up, at all – they are reinforcing the idea that women should give a shit about their “attractiveness” in the first  place.

In one breath they will say skin bleaching is wrong and in the next – claim that tummy tucks and breast augmentation are important for a womans self-esteem. But you know – the women who have the best self-esteems in the world, are the women who don’t give a shit about pleasing others with their image.

Women like this claim that they do it for themselves. That they feel ugly and can’t be happy without such surgeries… And isn’t that just promoting the message? I mean, I have to wonder how many women who never thought about it – watched a show like this one and  started to feel badly about how they look, when they never did before…

It’s why I hate TV so fucking much. And I generally watch it with a critics perspective… meaning that I’ll watch the ads and critique them. I’ll watch the shows and critique them. I’ll think about how shows entitled “I hate my small breasts” are probably being funded by plastic surgeons. Or maybe Dr. Phil’s wife gets a cut for promoting mommy make-overs. But most people are too stupid to put these things together in their minds. Or they are too preoccupied with this illusion of physical perfection that they just don’t even think about it.

But yeah – women who don’t put emphasis on their appearences are ALWAYS going to be happier. It’s a game that even women who are close to the mold can never win. One thing that I have noticed over the years – women who focus on their appearences and the closer they get to that mold – the more insecure they seem to get and the more addicted to physical affirmation they become.

Cancer Awareness…

March 24, 2011

Why raise awareness for cancer when you can let people know how to reverse it??? 


Blaming Children

March 11, 2011

I know I’m not the first to bring this up and I’m sure I won’t be the last but I am completely disgusted with how the rape of that 11 year old was reported. The New York Times tries to clear their name because it was not THEY who made the comments about the 11 yr olds clothes, or that she hung around teenage boys, so it was okay to press… But seriously? They don’t have to quote every dim wit that they interview for their newspaper, right? Is it a good idea to quote people who are perpetuating rape culture? And seriously – the author of that article COULD HAVE discussed why victim blaming mentality is disgusting and down right wrong if they felt they had to use that quote.

Not only did they point out how the daughter was dressed, but they decided to heap some of the blame on her mother. And after this was done, I was thinking to myself, “Where is the father in all of this?” And if he’s not in the picture – here in lies the problem with society not giving single mothers enough help in raising their children. And I really REALLY feel bad for parents these days because they have to battle this raunch culture.

And that got me thinking on – was there any mention of the parents of the men who raped this child? Where were THOSE parents? Why did their parenting fail so hugely? What were their FATHERS teaching them? Respect for women? I highly fucking doubt it. Sons who are taught to respect women to begin with – would never dream of raping a woman, much less a girl.

And as I was reading in MsMagazine, They cared more about how these rape charges would affect the men who were caught and how the community can recover from it. What about this little girl? What about HER recovery? What about how the words of her neighbors are going to cause her to live in shame and guilt for something that was not in her control to begin with? What about how she’s going to blame herself because OTHER people are blaming her for it?

And this got me thinking more on some things and this raunch culture that “sex-positives” seem to claim is so damned empowering for women. You know – we live in a society where they’ll broadcast child beauty pagents that sexualize FIVE YR OLDS, and then blame an eleven yr old for being raped because she dressed too “old” and wore make-up. AND they’ll even blame the mother for this. When it’s our CULTURE which is telling young girls that it’s glamorous to look like a stripper, that looking like a stripper gives women empowerment, that coming off as sexy (in the generic, cliche, pop culture way) is the main priority for women everywhere.

But even this raunch culture can’t be blamed for what men do, for men not having boundaries, for men not respecting women as human beings that deserve to be respected and unmolested by them. The raunch culture can’t be blamed for 18 men deciding to rape an 11 yr old. The ONLY blame can be placed on those men.  

I remember a while ago – Iremythpurr did a vid on youtube discussing how men are treated better when they are victims of sexual abuse – and this whole article points to how EVEN when men are the PERPETRATORS and NOT THE VICTIMS, they get more sympathy than the actual female victims. It’s just sickening.

Pornography isn’t abusive???? Trigger Warning!

January 31, 2011

This is going to be my write-up of the documentary called Hardcore, by Stephen Walker. The documentary can be found at http://hcdocu.blogspot.com.

The documentary is about Felicity, a 25 yr old woman from England. She flies out to California in the hopes of becoming a porn star. While she had been doing porn in England, she was sold on the idea that she could become a star in California. She’s a single mother of a five year old girl. She originally got into pornography by finding an ad in the local newspaper for it.

She plans on spending three weeks in LA to jump start her career as a porn star. She seems very excited and anxious to get to work. She agrees to have Stephen Walker and his camera crew join her along her journey to becoming a porn star, he is actually very neutral about the business before going into this and really just wants to document the process. She decides to have them stick around for a three day trial period and if she feels comfortable with their presense, she will allow them to tape her progress for the duration of her time in LA.

She meets her agent Richard at the airport who is quoted saying at the beginning of the documentary, “If she makes money, I make money.”  Richard is also originally from England but seems to basically promote English women in the US, within the porn industry. He’s in his late fifties or sixties. The second she lands in LA, he parades her around like a prized possession Stephen explains. Richard even holds her hand as he shows her around.

Her first job is with a pornographer who’s done films called, “Fuck Them All” and “Shut Up and Blow Me”. They have her take her shirt off in her interview, I assume to get a good look at the “goods”. They praise her for being natural and not having breast implants. They also ask her how her feet are, Richard pipes in and says that she has cute feet and the pornographer explains that it doesn’t matter anyway, because they can edit her feet out if they are unsightly.

After this interview, Richard explains to Stephen that the more he can get Felicity to do, the more he will get paid, and he explains how he gets better money for anal, DP and basically anything degrading.

The second interview she has, the guy interviewing her brags about how they are the best porn producers and Stephen asks him why. He says, “Because we got the filthiest, nastiest sex, we don’t use rubbers. It’s all anal, they suck it from their ass. They do everything, you know? We put out more tapes than any other company, we’re the best.”

After this interview, Richard explains to Stephen that British women are high in demand in the states and that he also gets paid extra for bringing  British women to pornographers, he says after he explains this, “She’s got her uses,” as he chuckles.

What appears to be her first actual job is with a photographer who takes pictures of her as she’s nude, urinating into a bucket. She does seem a little bit weird and uncomfortable with this job but it doesn’t seem to be out of what she expects.

After they show her doing this work, Stephen talks to her more about her work. She explains how she hides doing pornography from her mother, that she tells her mother she is modeling.

On the third trial day of the documentary, Richard and Felicity begin to argue in the car. The argument erupts because Richard keeps sexually harassing her. He keeps grabbing her butt and making sexual advances at her. She explains to Richard that she’s not interested in him in that way and that the only way she would do anything sexual with him is for money, in front of the camera. Richard tries to mansplain his way out of this situation by professing that he is joking. Which is clearly a lie. She explains that if becoming famous involves that level of harassment, she wants nothing to do with it. She agrees to keep the camera crew along because she feels safer with them around. She’s thinking Richard can’t be trusted without supervision. She also agrees to keep Richard as her agent if he agrees to keep his hands off of her.

The first film that they document her doing, is a girl on girl film. It appears to be more of a BDSM type film. They are wearing tight, pleather clothing (typical clothing found in BDSM porn). You can hear them moaning, occasionally calling each other whores, and there is some slapping. This doesn’t seem to bother her though because it’s with another women. She  seems to find working with other women in porn is less threatening. This film was part of a series called, “Decedent Divas.”

After filming this shoot, Felicity explains that the only sex she ever has is in porn. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a man, basically because of the gender roles. She doesn’t want a man to clean up after, or to answer to or deal with a man’s expectations in a relationship. She also starts to discuss her childhood. When she was 14, her mother told her that the man she thought was her father during her childhood, wasn’t her biological father. She felt really hurt by this because she feels as though her entire childhood was a lie.

Felicity finds out that Richard had signed her up for a bunch of scenes involving anal sex, which she had mentioned off camera to Stephen that she HATES. She ended up cancelling all of those scenes, which really pisses Richard off. He says, ” Jesus woman, I know it’s not fuckin’ pleasant but it’s part of the job and you did tell people wou’d do it and I don’t get any fuckin’ money if you don’t work. We are not going to go over this again and again.”

Felicity explains that this is why she adopted a new game plan and says, “You kept telling me I’d get use to it and if I did enemas it woulnd’t be so painful.”

Richard says, “You haven’t gotten use to it because you haven’t done one yet.”

She says, “You should take it up our butt and see how you like it.”

Richard says, “We won’t go there in this particular conversation in front of the camera.” He’s clearly agitated and tells them to stop filming before he loses his temper.

The camera begins filming again when Richard takes Felicity for an interview with Rob Black (porn producer). Stephen asks Rob what kind of porn they make and he responds with, “Dirty, filthy ones, the kind where girls get fucked in the ass and stuff like that.” Felicity isn’t there today to shoot, Richard takes her to see what the shoot is about. This particular shoot is a gang bang, Felicity refuses to watch it and says she’s going to just watch the fluffers (women used to keep “the wood hard” while the men wait their turn).

She explains, “It doesn’t interest me at all.”

Richard says, “Her education starts here.” with a grin.

Felicity responds, “I’m not abusing myself on this trip and that would be abuse, and that would be against my bill, yeah, I’m in the business but I’m not prepared to put up with that.” She goes on to explain that she won’t do a porn with more than two men, though she would consider doing a shoot with lots of women. Even after Felicity explains that she wouldn’t do a “gang bang” shoot, he writes down the amount of money she would earn (when they are at a restaurant or cafe after), hoping that the numbers will entice her. Another argument arrupts because she’s frustrated with his persistence, he won’t drop it and keeps trying to hook her in with different tactics.

He says to her, “You could do it, you just don’t want to do it.”

She says, “I couldn’t do it physically, I know for a fact.”

When Richard isn’t around later and she’s outside smoking a cigarrette, she starts talking to Stephen; she’s explaining how she’s frustrated with Richard because he’ll say that it doesn’t matter to him whether she does anal scenes or gang bangs or not, because he gets paid the same. She knows this to be a lie because she pays him by percent, not flat rates. And even if that weren’t the case, it’s obvious he wants her to do these scenes because he won’t stop pressuring her to do them.

Twenty-four hours after Richard took Felicity to check out Rob Black’s gang bang filming, Richard convinces her to do an interview with Max Hardcore. Max Hardcore’s “trademarks” in the business are use of gynocological instruments as well as spitting, urinating and blowing snot into womens’ mouths.

Felicity is scared to meet Max Hardcore because she’s already heard about him. Stephen interviews one of Max Hardcore’s former models, Layla Jade. She explains how Max would choke her and do other abusive things but the only time she felt disturbed by his behavior was when he jammed his fist into her mouth and took out a chunk of yer tongue with his finger nail. She admits that people who watch his movies are on the “edge”. Meaning, they like to see someone that looks like they could be a child, being abused.

Stephen films Max Hardcore’s house as they wait for him to show up, as he’s not currently in the house. He explains that the house is VERY clean and has a faint scent of antiseptic similar to a hospital, which is disturbing to him. He says his first instinct is to leave and to take Felicity with him.

One of Max Hardcore’s crew takes Felicity up to the dressing room, to show her what they have. It’s filled with child-like clothing, stuffed animals etc.

She soon finds out that she is NOT there for an interview, that Richard had set it up so that she was to film that day. She seems really nervous and upset to be doing this film that she never agreed to do. She tells Richard she is scared but he doesn’t care and even says that he’s tired of being blamed for her being scared. He says, “If you want to make money, you got to work. This is not doing anything she’s never done before.”

Stephen asks, “What? Putting snot in peoples’ faces?”

Richard says, “Nobody’s saying he’s going to do any of that.”

Felicity insists on meeting Max to find out what his expectations are. Max’s crew guy explains, “We try to discover the girls, how far we can go, how far he can take it because sometimes you can take it further and you don’t even know that.”

Felicity says, “That is misleading the girls. Yeah, that’s wrong. That’s like abuse, that’s wrong.”

Stephen talks to Richard outside and Richard discusses how angry he will be if she walks out of this job because she’s wasting his time. If she has a justifiable reason (which he does not explain, he doesn’t give any examples of what a justifiable reason would be) for walking out, he won’t be pissed off about it.

Later on, Stephen is talking to Felicity while she’s getting ready for the shoot in the bathroom. He asks, “Are you going to do it?”

She says, “I’ve got to do it.”

Stephen exclaims, “You don’t have to.”

She says, “I do have to do it. If I don’t do this, I might as well get on the plane tonight because I’m not going to get booked for anything else.”

After this discussion, Felicity finally meets Max Hardcore. She walks into his office wearing a trench coat, which Max immediate takes off of her as he’s saying, “There’s really non eed for this, how old are you?” He does not even ask her name or even bother with any formalitites. He doesn’t even ask her what she’s willing to do, or not.

Felicity says, “Guess.”

As she asked him to guess, he begins to grope her breasts and turns her around while he says, “Um…22?” He then asks her to give him her hand. He then says to her, “Okay, put your hands here,” she doesn’t move fast enough for his taste, so he sort of pushes her forword onto the side of the desk, so that her back is to him and her hands are on the desk and he says, “There you go.”  after, you hear him unzip his pants.

He then asks her to give him her hand again. As she reaches her hand back he says to her, “I want to be your friend, do you want to be my friend?”

She says, “No, I’ve heard horror stories about you, you scare the pants off of me.” Max does not respond to this comment and simply moves her to the other side of his desk where his chair is, so he’s closer to his drawr. He then pulls out a bottle of lube.

He says, “Put a little of this in your hand, like this and put it on the cock.” The entire time that Max is talking to Felicity, it seems like he’s talking to her like she’s child (especially when he asks her if she wants to be his friend), he’s talking in a sort of “soothing” voice, but at the same time is definitely man-handling her. You can tell that she’s really intimidated by him and that it’s probably the only reason she is going along with this.

They start to discuss the other work she had been doing while she was in LA, he tells her to lean over the desk again. She looks awkward about it but goes along with it anyway, she’s playing it cool and acting like nothing is out of the ordinary – and he begins to penetrate her anally (remember that she hates anal sex).

She finally says as he’s doing this, “This ins’t my introductory, these guys just want to shag me.”

Max responds with, “This is how we check out your qualifications.”

Stephen starts to talk about how this interaction made him really uncomfortable, you could also sense the lack of enthusiasm in Felicity, as well as her nervousness.

Max Hardcore stops and has her sitting on his lap, he begins to explain that they want to dress her up as a young English school girl. He asks her if she would shave her pussy for him and she refuses, explaining how itchy and uncomfortable it is when it begins to grow back.

Max responds with, “We have a saying aroud here, we’re not happy until you’re not happy.” He asks her if she’s fearful of him and she says she is, he asks her why.

She explains, “Because you are the first person I’ve met before even shaking my hand, you’ve stuffed your cock up me.”

Max says, “We prefer the direct approach.” She explains that he should have talked to her before because she has limits. As she says this, Max Hardcore grimmaces in disgust and says, “You have limits?” You can tell he’s irritated by her stating this and the conversation fizzles out at this point. He finishes smoking his cigarrette and then he starts bouncing her on his knee like a little child!

The camera cuts out and in the next scene, she’s standing in his his living room area, anxiously waiting for the shoot to begin. She’s wearing a florescent blue belly shirt, her hair is done up in pig tails, and she’s wearing metallic purble daisy dukes. She talks about how nervous she is – which you definitely get the sense of because she’s sighing a lot and keeps looking towards his yellow leather couch in reluctance. She explains that she’s afraid she is going to do things she wouldn’t normally do but bartered for extra money to do them. She also says that Max doesn’t seem as horrible as other people have made him out to be (which I find really interesting – especially due to his “introductory” approach, which felt and looked a lot like rape).

The camera cuts out and Stephen explains that thirty minutes had elapsed since he recorded last, when all of a sudden Felicity breaks off of the scene. The camera turns back on and catches her as she’s running up the stairs, completely disturbed. She’s crying and sobbing – she’s sobbing so hard that you can hear her gasping for air – she manages to say, “I couldn’t take it.”

Stephen explains, “Although I didn’t see it, Max Hardcore forced his penis down her throat and was suffocating her.”

As Felicity runs up the stairs upset, her agent does not even look at her, and he doesn’t even move a muscle. He was sitting on the same stairs she ran up – didn’t even ask what had happened or why she was upset about. He clearly didn’t give a shit. Max appears shortly and begins to follow her up the stairs.

The camera then shows her talking to Max in what appears to be the “guest” bedroom. She says, “I just can’t fucking do it, it’s horrible already and I want to go home,” she cries some more while gasping and says, “I’m scared.”

Max is sitting on the bed next to her, while she’s holding her face in her hands and he starts saying in that creepy soothing voice again, “Why?” (in response to her saying that she is scared).

She says, “because I’m scared, I got all these people here and I should feel safe and I just don’t feel safe, I’m being physically abused. I just want to leave this fucking country now and get on a plane and get the fuck out of here.”

Max says again in his creepy patronizing voice, “How are you being abused?”

She says, “The things you do to my body and stuff, it’s abusive and I’m not comfortable with it, I hate it. Alright? I fuckin’ hate it.” She’s still crying at this point.

Max Hardcore starts to attempt to encourage her. Max says, “Look, are you a winner? Are you a good person?”

Felicity responds, “I’d like to think so.”

Max says, “I’d like to think so too, you’re a good person aren’t you? You don’t fuck all of your friends, you take care of people, right?”

She says, “yeah” in a very dejected voice.

He continues, “You don’t go out of your way to hurt people, right?”

She says, “Right” – again in a dejected voice.

Max continues his “pep talk”, “Okay, you’re a positive person, right? You like to think you’re important don’t you?”

She responds again with a simple, “yeah”

He says again, “Are you important?”

She says, “Yeah, to my daughter. Not to you, not to anybody else. I’m only important to my kid.”

Max says, “Well then you’re goddamn important, you’ve got responsibilities.”

Felicity starts to get aggravated with his questions and responds with, “Why’d you think I was here? Why’d you think I’d make all this money? Because you think I like it? yeah I like it, but I just don’t like being abused and if abuse is going to get me money…”

Max interrupts her before she can finish what she’s saying, “It doesn’t have to be that way, every girl is different babe. You’re different, you’re special, you’re unique, you’re a special person. You’re an important person, very important and you’ve got responsibilities, people that have responsibilities are important and they do, they do the job. They take care of business. They say, okay damn it , I don’t like it but I’m going to do it.” It was very clear to me that Max was using Felicities daughter and her responsibility to her daughter at this point, to try and manipulate her into finishing the shoot. He’s trying to get her to think about the money… And it’s clear that he switched to this tactic after his, “you’re a great person” speach didn’t coax her into finishing.

Felicity responds, “I’ve been terrified since the minute I walked in here, before I even fucking met you.” She’s still sobbing at this point and he starts to stroke her hair.

He says firmly at this point, “Get a grip now, come on.” as he’s still stroking her hair and then rubs her shoulder a little bit.

She says, “I won’t get a grip until I am home, nothing you are going to talk about is going to change my mind.”

Max gets clearly annoyed with this comment and says, “You’re sounding like a little school girl now. Find a way to win, not a way to lose.” As he says this, she gets up from next to him to get a tissue from the bathroom.

A switch goes off in Max and he’s getting angry now. He says to her, “Baby, I don’t appreciate your fuckin effort. I’ll be honest with you, I do not appreciate your fuckin effort on the job. Instead of fuckin talking to us and treating us like reasonable human being, you just fuck it up and quit, when I rushed my ass back here, I got shit to do in case you don’t know, I got shit to do, I got stuff to do. All those guys, my two guys down there. I’ve got one guy from fucking Malibou over here. He drived like fuckin, you know, 100 miles to get the fuck over here to do this fucking scene for you and I don’t appreciate your fuckin effort. You know, instead you didn’t even try, your fucking, you fucking…” At this point, Max begins to stumble over his words he’s so annoyed with her for not submitting to his will. He continues, “This is just…eh me, you talk about ME, the scenes disgusting, You disgust ME and your fuckin’, tiny little effort. Baby I’ve done over fucking 500 fucking movies, only seen one other girl with less effort than you put forth less effort, less willing to fucking do anything to do the fucking job. One fucking scene and I have done 1158 fuckin scenes. I’ve had one fucking girl walk off the set. You’re a fuckin’ loser, you put no fuckin’ effort into this. Okay, somewhere she says fine, say something, but NO you don’t say fuckin’ nothing. You just jump the fuck up and quit. Fuck that.”

The camera cuts out and the Stephen explains that Felicity agreed to finish the set after this. He explains that it was clear that Felicity could no longer decide for herself after Max’s reaction to her. Where there had been consent before, it was clearly gone now. Five minutes later Stephen and his crew grabbed up Felicity and got the hell out of there.

After dealing with Max, Stephen fully expects Felicity to head home but she decides to go back to Extreme Studios and works as a “fluffer” for the gang bang video the very next day. He tries to talk to her about what had happened with Max Hardcore and she’s reluctant to discuss it. She explains that she had hardly slept the night before – that she had woke up every hour, on the hour. Her only comment at this point is, “It’s not pleasant being suffocated.

Stephen decides to talk to Richard about it, he asks Richard, “Do you regret taking her to see Max Hardcore?”

Richard responds, “No, because it discovered her limits early on.”

Stephen says, “Do you think it was good education for her?”

Richard says, “Yeah, she knows how bad things can be and she seems better off today.”

Stephen says, “It gets easier?”

Richard says, “Everything gets easier the more you do it.”

Stephen says after interviewing Richard, “I noticed something increasingly disturbing about Felicity’s behavior. As if the experiences of last night have changed her. As if the shock has somehow dislocated her from herself.” He explains how her experiences with Max hardcore seem to have opneed a door for her to do anything. It almost seems like this was Richards intent when he brought her to see Max Hardcore. Like he knew that if she delt with the worst of the worst – she would find anything easier – inluding anal and other abusive porn.

The next pornographer they tape Felicity interviewing with – she says she’ll do anal scenes, even though she was very against it before. She is tolerable of abusive sex now, she’s willing to do abusive porn with these pornographers, nothing seems off-limits to her now. This particular porn she is going to shoot in involves on man “roughing” up three women during sex.

Stephen wonders why she will suddenly do abusive porn. This particular pornographer refuses to have his face taped during the documentary. Stephen asks the pornographer why he won’t have his face taped. The pornographer explains that he lives a double life, while his family knows he makes porn – they don’t know how abusive the porn he produces is. He says, “I don’t say, “yeah I climb up on the roof and I choke a girl into unconsciousness” well because it is shameful for godsake.”

Stephen asks, “So why do you do it?”

He responds, “It’s as exciting as hell, it’s better then taking drugs.”

Stephen then asks, “How do you justify doing this, it’s degrading, isn’t it?

He says, “It’s an expression of romance, it’s an expression of love.”

The film goes back to recording Felicity, apparently after the shoot and she discusses more about her father. After she found out who he was, they connected for a while but it fizzled out and he stopped caring about her. She explains that she wants her father to see what she is doing for work, to see her in porn, she wants to prove to him that she exists. She seems to take pride in the fact that he can’t do anything about it or have an opinion about it. It seems like she is doing porn out of revenge because she wanted to be daddy’s little girl and was never given the opportunity.

When Felicity went home, she told her mother what she had really been doing for work. Her mother was dissapointed but told Felicity that she would always love her, no matter what she did. Felicity then discusses how she would feel the same way if her daughter starting making porn. She doesn’t want her daughter to do it, but that she’d also still love her daughter no matter what.

After leaving the states, Felicity quit the porn business and became a cocktail waitress.

I just have to say that in this one documentary, there are a lot of different examples of coersion. They use money to persuade her to do things she didn’t want to do before. They insist that she can handle doing things, and that she isn’t doing them because she hasn’t done them enough. They use guilt, shame and they compare her to other women to trick her into doing things she is not comfortable with. I just want people to think – is this the norm in the industry? How do you know the women in the porn you watch have not experienced these same techniques of manipulation? How do you know for sure that it is consentual? Is this really a glamorous job? Is becoming a porn star even at all really possible? Should we join this type of work with words like “empowering” “free”? I think not.